Northern Irelands silly ghosts. Attempted murder, hahaha!
I admit I don’t really keep up with Northern Irish news much these days. It’s either desperately provincial – or just plain desperate. Yes, someone planted a bomb the other day, and yes, somebody got hurt. And I’m sure the obscure rural radio show is still going on without me. So. Some things never change.
But the other day, I got tangled in a BBC-infused NI-news-net. And some old skeletons dropped out of the closet. Good old names like Michael Stone and Mad Dog Adair.
Gerry Adams and Martin McGunniess nearly had their parliamentary meeting disturbed by Michael Stone, the old rascal, who wanted to slit the throats of the Shinners. Seriously. No kidding.
Michael Stone – exceptionally bad haircut and not-a-winning personality – stuck his nose out again, and this is a good wan!
Michael Stone is one of those who got an early release under the terms of the Good Friday Agreement following his life sentence for a triple murder. In 1988, he launched a gun and grenade attack on the republican funeral of three IRA members shot dead by the SAS in Gibraltar. This is his claim to fame. That, plus that some of the loyalist paramillitaries didn’t want him, as they saw him as unstable
….. hello…? This is from the mentally healthy and balanced boys in UVF, UFF. Gosh, maybe there is something wrong with the guy, do you think?!
Anyway. Said fruitcake heads for Stormont, pockets filled with home made goodies, and after he is stopped, claims his actions were ‘performance art’……uuhhhh, yes. Delightful! Brilliant move of the lawyer there. The bad-haircut-guy, who killed a couple of funeral-goers, and popped up regularly with insane – no, I mean reeeally insane – points of view… well. It doesn’t bear thinking of.
The other version is what he told the police: “My intention was to walk into the debating chamber and look for where Adams, McGuinness and Sinn Fein were sitting. I would have lobbed several nail bombs to cause confusion. I planned to stab Adams and McGuinness and cut their throats.”
During interview Stone said the prominent republicans were “war criminals” and that he just “can’t handle” republicans being in government.
Brilliant – maybe lock the guy up in the Maze again, and give him some of his favourite dope. But here’s the goodies:
The lawyer said Stone – who suffers severe arthritis and walks with a stick – spent two hours working his way through the Stormont grounds to the entrance of Parliament Buildings. After being trapped by a security guard in the doors of Stormont he lit a fuse on a bag he had and threw it into the hall, shouting that it was a bomb. The device never went off and is believed to have malfunctioned after having got damp during the torrential rain that fell that day.
If that isn’t hilarious! Bless the irish weather! And see a middle age freelance loyalist nutcase hobbling through the garden and the rain, pockets bursting with hardware. Too good.
Stone said he had been acting alone telling police: “I am a dissident loyalist freelance.”
Right!
As well as the attempted murder charges, Stone is charged with possessing home-made explosives and an imitation gun with intent.
WHAT? ‘An imitation gun with intent’!? Intent to what? wave threateningly? Use the imitation gun as an imitation gun? I do not miss northern ireland-speak. “acceptable level of violence”.
He is also charged with carrying a garrotte, three knives and an axe and assaulting staff members who trapped him in the revolving doors at Stormont.
Well, well. You cannot say he came empty handed.. well equipped, but lacking one crucial thing: a plan. You know. Sneaking past the guards-kind of plan. Handeling hardware, lighting fuses, guards, ax, garrotte, knives while finding somewhere to put the cane- kind of plan.
And maybe one major blunder: maybe the guards these days are not so lenient and blind towards loyalist paras.
The security forces are not what they used to be.
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the RUC are called PSNI these days.
It was all in the Patten Commission … a feeling of change, perhaps. They have a nice little website with a picture of Belfast city hall with a speeding police car going towards it, with the charming caption:
«Making Northern Ireland Safer
FOR EVERYONE
Through Professional, Progressive Policing»
yes. … well. Where do people get the idea from, that putting Capital Initials In Every Word Is A Good Idea? It Makes Everything Look Like It Should Be Abbrevated, And Especially In Northern Ireland, Where Everything Has Some Sort Of Short Form, Three-Letter Combination or Acronym. Or that putting FOR EVERYONE in capital letters does anything else but attracting unwanted attention to that phrasing?
And what exactly is “progressive” policing, if it’s not supposed to mean “fair”…?
……and Ronnie Flanagan nowhere to be seen. Strange days.
